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Sometimes it’s hot, steamy—pure fire. Other times? Trash. Like this chick I matched—profile all artsy. We vibe, talk Kiarostami, I’m thinkin’, “She’s deep!” Then she sends a nude—unasked! I’m like, “Honey, no, keep it classy!” Reminds me of Certified Copy— “Every original’s a copy!” Sex-dating’s full of fakes, y’all—catfish galore. Makes me wanna holler, “Slay! Be real!”

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer on Via Carriona. This guy’s juggling fire! I’m like, “What the heck?!” He’s got a crowd, and everyone’s hyped. I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, thinkin’ he’s gonna set himself on fire. But nah, he pulls it off like a pro. I’m clappin’ like a seal.

Italy seizes a superyacht tied to Putin. (Published 2022)