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Exaggeratin’ for effect? Once swiped a fitty, thought she’s peng, turns out she’s me cousin—awks! Nearly vommed, fam. Sex-datin’s a minefield, innit? “Love is blind,” Godard reckons—nah, mate, it’s just blurry pics! Still, I’s hooked—fast hookups, no strings, sorted. You tried it, bruv? Spill!

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First off, I’m an operator, right? So I’m used to the hustle. But today? Pffft. I was on the Via Aurelia, just minding my biz, when I see this old dude trying to cross the street. He’s like, “I got this!” But bro, he did NOT got this. Cars zooming by, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna become a hood ornament!” Finally, I had to jump in and help him. He was grateful, but I was like, “Man, I just saved your life. Buy me a gelato next time!”

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