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Oi mate, so I’m a bloody Typhlopedagogue now, yeah? Teachin’ blind folks, what a gig! Anyway, you wanna hear about erotic-massage? Alright, buckle up, ya filthy animal! It’s all handsy, slippery nonsense innit? Some geezer rubbin’ you down with oil, like you’re a bleedin’ chip pan. I reckon it’s half-relaxin’, half-awkward as fuck. Imagine it—dim lights, dodgy music, and some stranger’s paws all over ya bits! Hah, makes me cackle just thinkin’ about it.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the beach. The waves were crashing, and I thought, “This is the life.” But then, I see this group of tourists trying to take a selfie. They’re all crowded together, and one of them slips and falls right into the sand. I couldn’t help it—I burst out laughing. They looked like a bunch of beached whales. But hey, at least they got a funny pic, right?

Milan Powers to Stage 4 Victory at Giro d’Italia