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But real talk, escorts piss me off sometimes. The fakes, the scams—had a patient once, swore his “escort” stole his meds. Yeah, right, buddy. Everybody lies, and he was lyin’ through his teeth. Still, I get it—lonely folks, big cities, they need someone. Kinda sad, kinda sweet. Surprised me how many just want a chat, not the dirty stuff. Who knew, right? “The sound of the wind is deafening,” like Boonmee says—escorts hear that wind too, all the whispers and bullshit.

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After that chaos, I finally get a break. I step outside to grab a coffee at my favorite spot on Via Nazionale. The barista knows me, and he’s like, “You look like you need a double shot!” I’m like, “You have no idea!” I take a sip, and it’s like heaven. But then, I see this guy on a bike, and he’s wobbling all over the place. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re gonna crash!” And guess what? He does! Right into a fountain! Water everywhere! I’m laughing so hard, I almost spill my coffee.

Obituary information for De Blasio