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About Naples

I love it, tho—the thrill, the game. Like in *The Return*, “You’re not afraid, are you?”—nah, I ain’t scared! Rejection? Pfft, next! Ghosted? Who cares! It’s power, baby—swipe right, you’re a king; swipe left, you’re God. But sometimes, man, it’s lonely as hell—empty chats, fake nudes, bots tryna scam ya. Once matched a chick who sent me a dick pic—WTF?! Laughed my ass off, then blocked her.

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Next up, this lady comes in. She’s got bags from the market—like, a million of ‘em. I’m talkin’ about fresh tomatoes from Via San Rocco, and she’s like, “Be careful with my goods!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a tomato thief!” But she’s all serious, and I’m just tryin’ to keep it together.

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