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About Bari

Lemme tell ya, sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s an art, fam! Got this chick once, swear she was a wizard, fingers hittin’ spots I didn’t even know I had. Little fact for ya—back in ancient China, they called it “yang bliss,” some emperor banned it ‘cause dudes wouldn’t leave the palace, ha! True story, got me geekin’—imagine that, too much happy-endin’ fuckin’ up the dynasty!

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But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my cornetto! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, and the barista’s cracking up. I’m like, “Dude, help me!” But nah, he just watches the chaos unfold. I finally shoo the bird away, but not before it leaves a little “gift” on my shoulder. Ugh, thanks, Margine-Coperta-Traversagna!