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Still, mate, it’s a wild gig – sex escorts dodgin’ coppers, livin’ large, laughin’ at the squares. One time, this gal told me she banked 10k in a week – bloody hell, I nearly choked! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares? She’s got sass, and I’m here for it. Sarcasm drips off me – “Oh, darling, savin’ the world one shag at a time?” She smirked, game on.

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Finally, the rain stops, and I step outside. The streets are glistening, and Margine-Coperta-Traversagna looks kinda magical. I’m feeling all poetic, ya know? But then I remember I parked my bike near the old fountain. I rush over, and guess what? It’s gone! I’m like, “No way! Not my bike!”