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Caught one last summer, swear it winked at me. Big, meaty, silver - I’m yellin’, “Look at this champ!” Happiest day ever, til I cooked it. Smelled like heaven, tasted like dreams, then - oh man, stomach apocalypse. Wife’s like, “Told ya, dummy!” Escolar’s a trickster, man, total catfish vibes - get it? Fish humor! “That’s what she said!” Shoulda known - it’s rare ‘round here, deep diver, 2,000 feet down. Fishermen call it “the laxative fish” - ain’t that a riot?

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Then, I decide to hit up the local market on Via Cavour. It’s buzzing with people. Fresh veggies, fruits, and all that good stuff. I’m checking out some tomatoes when this lady starts yelling at her husband. I mean, full-on shouting! “You never listen!” “You always forget the list!” I’m standing there, trying not to laugh. It’s like a reality show right in front of me!

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