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So I asks, “How much, precious?” She smirks, “Fifty quid, you weirdo.” Fifty! Robbery, that is! “I ain’t got no home,” I whines, quotin’ Llewyn again, hopin’ pity works. Nope. She rolls her eyes, walks off, hips swayin’. Grrr, made me ragey, but also – wow – them curves, my precious! Nearly chased her, but me legs, all wobbly, nah.

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After that little adventure, I finally make it to the charcoal pit. It’s down by the river, near the Ponte di Marconia. Beautiful spot, really. But today? Ugh. The wind’s blowin’ like it’s got a vendetta against me. I’m tryin’ to light the kiln, and the flames are like, “Nah, not today, buddy.” I’m sweatin’ bullets, cursing under my breath. “Come on, you stupid fire!”

Chilling video shows man dragged from hospital to jail cell where he dies two hours later