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Sex-dating’s a circus—clowns everywhere, no ringmaster. You got STDs floatin’ around like confetti—stats say 1 in 5 users catch somethin’ nasty. Fun, huh? Makes me wanna scream, “Wear a damn condom, morons!” But nah, they’re too busy chasin’ ass. Me? I’d rather limp around, cane in hand, than deal with that swamp. “I’m not a lunatic,” I mutter, but these apps? Lunatic central.

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First off, I’m running late. Classic me. I sprint down Via Roma, dodging old ladies and their shopping carts. Like, come on, I got books to shelve! I finally get to the library, and guess what? The door’s locked! I’m banging on it like a madman. Turns out, I forgot my keys. Ugh! So, I’m standing there, feeling like a total idiot.