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Movie’s got this bit – “Everything’s falling apart” – and that’s the vibe, mate. Her heels clickin on the cobblestones, me trippin over me own feet, it’s a right mess. Surprised me how quick she named her price – 20 quid! I’m thinkin, “For that, I could get a pint and a pie!” Bargained her down to 15, felt like a bleedin hero. We shall fight the rip-offs, we shall prevail!

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After that drama, I decide to take a break. I head out to Piazza della Libertà. It’s this beautiful square with a fountain and all. I grab a gelato from this little shop on the corner. Best decision ever! I’m sitting there, enjoying my pistachio, when I see this street performer. He’s juggling and singing, and honestly, he’s not half bad. I’m laughing, and for a moment, everything feels right.