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I get riled up tho—some jerks on these sites, lyin’ bout their height or jobs. Pisses me off! Be straight, y’know? Like Nader says, “I’m telling the truth!”—just tell it, dude! Don’t say yer 6’2” when yer 5’8” in boots! And the pics—half these folks catfishin’ worse than a Louisiana swamp. Fool me once, sure, but I ain’t fallin’ for that again.

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After that chaos, I finally get to the good stuff. The crowd’s hyped, and I’m feeling it. I’m in my zone, you know? But then, I spot this guy on Via della Libertà. He’s just standing there, looking lost. I’m like, “Dude, you okay?” Turns out, he’s a tourist who wandered in. I’m like, “Welcome to Marco-Simone! You’re in for a treat!”

Marco Simone price: Membership cost, greens fees at the Ryder Cup course