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I’m ragin’—why? Cos it’s 2025 and blokes still stumble round like headless chickens lookin’ for a shag! Apps, mate—fuckin’ apps! Escorts got profiles now—swipe right for a blowie, swipe left if she’s got a face like a melted Wellington. Surprised me, that—thought it’d be all dodgy alleys and “how much, love?” But nah, it’s posh now—some even take crypto! Fuckin’ mental.
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But then, just when I thought it couldn’t get crazier, the power goes out. Yup, right in the middle of a bid! I’m standing there, mic in hand, and it’s pitch black. I’m like, “Is this a horror movie?” People start laughing, and I’m just trying to keep it together. “Hey, folks, who needs lights when you’ve got charm?”
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