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I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a trip—makes me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout somebody treatin’ me like royalty, rubbin’ me down real good. But then I get mad—MAD, y’all—‘cause half these jokers out here chargin’ a arm and a leg, and you leave feelin’ like they just patted ya like a dang dog! Rip-off artists, I swear! One time, I almost went myself—thought, “Madea, you deserve this!”—but I chickened out, ‘fraid they’d see my bunions and start laughin’. Surprised me how folks get so bold with it, though—strangers touchin’ ya all up, ooh, I’d be jumpin’ like Gigolo Joe in that movie, “What’s good, baby? What’s good?”

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After that chaos, I head to the office on Corso Vittorio Emanuele II. It’s a nice spot, but today it felt like a sauna. I walk in, and my coworker, Marco, is already on my case. “Did you send that policy?” he asks. I’m like, “Dude, I just got here!”

Mantua police officer plans to file lawsuit against Portage Co. Sheriff’s Office after child endangerment case dismissed