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But okay, sometimes it works. Met this one gal—total vibe. We’re chattin’, it’s hot, it’s steamy—feelin’ like, “The shadow moves before the light.” Y’know, that tension from my fave flick, “The Assassin”? Builds up slow, then—pow! We meet, and it’s fireworks! Happy? Oh, I was dancin’—in my head, ‘cause I don’t dance, too awkward. But then—THEN—she’s all, “Let’s keep it casual,” and I’m like, “Casual?! I’m plannin’ our imaginary dog’s name here!” Total letdown. Surprised me how fast it flipped—sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, man!

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the park, Parco della Libertà. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Green grass, kids playing, old folks feeding pigeons. But guess what? There was this random dog. A big one. Like, a bear in disguise. It runs up to me, and I’m thinking, “Oh great, I’m about to be mauled.” But nah, it just wanted to play. So, I’m there, dodging slobber and trying not to trip over my own feet. Hilarious, right?

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