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We haggle a bit – price’s steep, fuckin’ hell! Makes me wanna yell, but I play it suave. Little factoid – in old Rome, prossies wore blonde wigs to stand out. Bet she’d rock that look. I’m picturin’ it, gettin’ distracted – focus, Bond! We seal the deal, off we go. It’s messy, thrilling, bit absurd – pure *Toni Erdmann* energy. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, smirkin’. Life’s a mad show, ain’t it?

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So, I’m fuming, right? I decide to head to the gelato shop on Via Mazzini. Gelato fixes everything, am I right? I get there, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I order pistachio, my fave. But the guy behind the counter? He gives me a scoop that’s basically a thimble. I’m like, “Dude, I didn’t come here for a taste test!” He just shrugs. I mean, c’mon, it’s Manerbio! We do big gelato here!

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