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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s wild, real wild. Like, you’re layin’ there, oil everywhere, some chick’s hands all ova ya, and I’m thinkin’, “I drink your milkshake!” – yeah, straight outta *There Will Be Blood*. That flick’s my jam, all that greed and madness, fuckin’ Daniel Day-Lewis screamin’ bout drainage – it’s like life, y’know? Sexual-massage got that same vibe, power trippin’ under the skin.

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First off, I grab my espresso at Bar Centrale on Via Roma. Best coffee in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ my brew, and this dude, Marco, spills his cappuccino all over the counter. Classic Marco, always a mess. I laugh it off, but inside I’m like, “Dude, get it together!”