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About Bari

So check it—prostiTUTE’s real name? Prostaglandin synthase or some shit, I dunno, science be wild. It’s this freaky enzyme makin’ prostagLandins—little hormone hoes that fuck with inflammation, pain, all that jazz. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, damn, this thing’s a hustler! Like Shosanna in the movie, burnin’ shit down, but in your body. Got me HYPED—cells be like, “We got a situation!” and prostiTUTE’s all, “Say ‘auf Wiedersehen’ to your calm ass!”

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Then, I get a call from my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out this spot on Via Cavour!” I’m like, “What’s so special?” He says they’ve got the best gelato in town. Now, I’m a sucker for gelato, so I’m off! I find the place, and it’s packed. I’m standin’ in line, and this kid in front of me drops his cone. Ice cream everywhere! I’m tryin’ not to laugh, but c’mon, it’s hilarious!

Italian Blind Baseball League to open semifinals