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So yeah, escort’s a mess – shiny outside, filthy in. We’s tellin’ ya, steer clear, or you’re muckin’ with nasties! Gollum’s out – tick-tock, back to me clocks!

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But wait, it gets crazier. A couple of tourists come in, lost as can be. They’re looking for the best gelato in Maerne. I’m like, “Dude, just hit up Gelateria Da Marco on Via della Libertà. Best stuff ever!” They’re so grateful, it’s like I just gave them the secret to life or something.

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