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It’s messy, tho—typos in chats, “wanna fukc?”—13 times I’ve seen that, cracks me up! I’m no grammar nazi, mate, just laugh n’ roll. Sex-dating’s raw, real, like me benchin’ 300 pounds—sweaty, loud, fun! Some say it’s shallow, but I say, “Screw the haters, live big!” Ya wanna feel alive? Swipe, meet, bang—simple! “The future’s not set,” like the movie says, so why not sex-date like a champ?

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But then, outta nowhere, her phone rings. It’s her boss! She answers, and I’m just sitting there, awkwardly sipping my oat milk. I can hear the boss yelling through the phone. I’m cringing hard. Like, c’mon, dude, chill! We’re in a café, not a war zone!

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