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I tried it once – total disaster. Matched with this hottie, thought, “She’s my limo to paradise.” We chat, sext, meet up – bam, she’s got a dude’s voice! Catfish alert! I’m like, “I’m not paid for this plot twist!” Reminded me of Holy Motors – “Who are we today, huh?” Laughed my ass off later, but damn, I was raging in the moment. Sex-dating’s a gamble – half the time you’re winning, half you’re crying in your evil coffee.

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After that session, I’m walking down Via Mazzini, and I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s not half bad. I stop to listen, and suddenly, I’m transported back to my childhood. I used to dance to this stuff with my grandma. Gets me all emotional, ya know? I toss him a couple of euros and he gives me a nod. It’s like we shared a moment.

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