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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, right, thinkin’ bout sex escorts—like, what’s the deal with that? I mean, it’s 2025, we got robots answerin’ phones, but people still pay for a quick roll in the hay? Pretty, pretty good racket if ya ask me! Like, I’m flippin’ channels, stressed outta my mind, and boom—there’s “Ratatouille,” my freakin’ lifeline. That rat, Remy, cookin’ his lil’ heart out, makin’ art from scraps—kinda like escorts, no? Takin’ what they got, turnin’ it into somethin’ tasty. “Anyone can cook!”—well, anyone can screw, but these pros? They’re Michelin-star level, I tell ya!

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First off, I parked my truck on Via Roma. Big mistake. I thought I’d be all slick, but nah, I ended up blocking some dude’s driveway. He came out, all red-faced, yelling in Italian. I just smiled and waved, like, “Ciao, buddy!” Not my finest moment, but hey, I’m not fluent in “angry Italian.”

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