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I tried it once—total accident, swear! Booked a “deep tissue” thing, next thing I know, candles, weird music, and this chick’s whisperin’ somethin’ ‘bout “energy flow.” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, just don’t flow near my donut stash!” Made me happy as hell—felt like a king, y’know? But then—argh!—she charged me double! Said it was “special service.” Special my ass—nearly choked on my beer when I saw the bill!

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So, I’m tryin’ to calm everyone down, right? I’m like, “Guys, chill! We got this!” But inside, I’m like, “What the heck is goin’ on?” I head to the yard, and there’s this group of inmates laughin’ and pointin’. I’m thinkin’, “What’s so funny?” Turns out, they were watchin’ some pigeons fightin’ over a piece of bread. I mean, really? Pigeons? That’s what’s entertainin’ you?

Lucrezia Stefanini vs Rebecca Sramkova - Match WTA - Miami Open presented by Itau 2025 - First round