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Favorite bit? This one time – heard it from a buddy – some escort in Miami (where else, right?) got hired by this fat cat, took him to a yacht party. She ends up runnin’ the whole damn show, DJin’, mixin’ drinks – dude paid her triple! Happy as hell, man, that’s power! Say hello to my little friend – she flipped the script, owned it! Reminds me of that line, “The sea’s calm now,” but underneath? Wild currents, baby, just like escort life.

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Then, I decided to grab a coffee at this little café on Via Garibaldi. Best decision ever! The barista was this cool dude named Marco. He had this wild hair and a smile that could light up a room. He made me a cappuccino that was so good, I almost cried. Seriously, I was like, “Marco, you’re a wizard!” He laughed, and I felt like we were best buds.

Loreto House Alumnae Association pays tribute to Uma Ahmed with the perfect bun