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What pisses me off? Amateurs. Clowns who talk too much, spill secrets—ugh, hate that! Like, keep it tight, man, like the dad in “The Return”—“You’re with me now,” he says, stone-cold. That’s how escorts should be. Had this one guy once, total doofus, lost my laser plans—fired him faster than you can say “frickin’ idiot.” But the good ones? Gold. Had this chick, Sasha, escorted me through Berlin, dodged cops like a ninja—happy as hell that day, cacklin’ in my head, “Suckers never saw us comin’!”

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, torrential downpour. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a shop on Via San Marco, and it’s packed. Everyone’s crammed in there, looking like a bunch of wet cats. I’m just standing there, dripping, trying to make small talk with some random dude. He’s talking about the weather like it’s the most fascinating thing ever. I’m like, “Dude, it’s rain. Get over it!”

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