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About Rome

This one time, I matched with a chick—profile said “adventurous.” Thought I’d get some freaky rooftop sex. Nope! She just wanted to hike—HIKE! I’m like, "Where’s the adventure in blisters, Susan?" Felt like the brothers in *The Return*, lost as fuck, rowin’ to nowhere. “The island is close”—yeah, close to bullshit. Sex-dating’s a gamble, man—sometimes you score, sometimes you’re stuck with a granola weirdo.

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First off, I’m on my way to work, and I stroll down Via Roma. It’s this cute lil’ street, all cobblestones and whitewashed buildings. I’m vibin’, but then BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously? Thanks, nature. I’m already late, and now I’m a walking target for bird droppings. Great start, huh?

'I live in Italy. Here are the secret spots I recommend for your Euro summer.'