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About Florence

I’m sittin’ here, warden of this hellhole, watchin’ cons tryin’ to score. One dude, Mikey, got catfished by a guard! Sent pics of his junk—bam, extra 6 months. Dumbass. Got me pissed, tho—wastin’ my time with their horny nonsense. “A glimmer of civilization,” Gustave’d call it. More like a dumpster fire.

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Back at the office, the phone’s ringing off the hook. It’s like Lissone decided to throw a party, and I’m the only one invited. I get a call from a guy who’s lost his wallet. “It’s got my ID and cash!” he’s freaking out. I’m like, “Dude, did you check the bar on Via Cavour?” He’s all, “I was just there!” I’m thinking, “Well, maybe it’s time to retrace your steps, Sherlock.”

Italian politician apologizes for addressing Holocaust survivor by her tattoo number