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Oh, and get this – Escort’s got quirks, hon. Ever hear bout the MK1? Total gas guzzler, but cute as heck. I’d be zoomin round, laughin my Nanny laugh – HAHAHA – picturin Fincher filmin a chase in one. “We’re not gettin anywhere!” – me screamin at the wheel, probs. Surprised me how folks still fix em up – true love, huh? Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I’d swear these cars got souls, swear on my compost heap!

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So, I’m pacing around, trying to keep my cool. I decide to take a stroll down to the local café on Via Cavour. Gotta get my caffeine fix, right? I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude named Marco, spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, you okay?” He just laughs it off, but I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I’m gonna smell like coffee all day.”

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