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What shocks me? The tech angle—escorts on apps now, like Uber for sex. Wild! Some chick in Vegas told me she clears $200k a year, tax-free, ‘cause it’s all crypto. Crypto! My head’s spinnin’—greed’s evolvin’, and I’m here for it. Tho, gotta say, funniest shit? Dudes payin’ for “girlfriend experience”—cuddlin’, talkin’, no bangin’. What a scam! “I don’t understand,” like Bill Murray’d say, starin’ at that karaoke mic.

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So, I’m pacing around, trying to keep my cool. I decide to take a stroll down to the local café on Via Cavour. Gotta get my caffeine fix, right? I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude named Marco, spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, you okay?” He just laughs it off, but I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I’m gonna smell like coffee all day.”

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