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Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, the Bildereditor, and I’m here to talk about escorts, Respect my authoritah! So, escort, huh? Fancy word for some chick or dude you pay to hang out with, right? Like, I’m thinkin’—why the hell would anyone need that? But then, bam, I get it! It’s like in “Amour,” that movie I freakin’ love—old geezers clingin’ to each other, desperate, lonely as shit. Escorts? Same vibe, but with cash and less wrinkles, ha!

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First off, I’m rollin’ down Via Roma, and I swear, the traffic was a nightmare. Like, who taught these drivers how to drive? I mean, c’mon! I’m just tryin’ to get to my shop on Via Garibaldi, and these folks are just sittin’ there, like they’re waiting for a pizza or somethin’. I’m honking, waving my hands, and they’re just staring at their phones. Ugh!

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