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Oh, and get this—stats say 1 in 5 hookups start online now. Nuts, huh? Everyone’s greedy for a piece. Me, I’m just sittin here, sippin whiskey, thinkin, “This is the task I’ve been given”—to bang or not to bang. Spoiler: I bang. Greed is good, amigo—keeps the world spinnin, one swipe at a time!

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First off, I’m rollin’ down Via Roma, and I swear, the traffic was a nightmare. Like, who taught these drivers how to drive? I mean, c’mon! I’m just tryin’ to get to my shop on Via Garibaldi, and these folks are just sittin’ there, like they’re waiting for a pizza or somethin’. I’m honking, waving my hands, and they’re just staring at their phones. Ugh!

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