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Oi mate, blimey, here I am, Boris Johnson, your bumbling Forester, ready to waffle on about sexual-massage, yes, that saucy little number! Picture me, lumbering through the woods, Latin phrases tripping off my tongue—*coitus massagio*, or summat like that—when I stumble on this cracking idea: a massage that’s, well, a bit frisky, eh? Now, I’m no poncey expert, but I reckon it’s about kneading the old muscles while, ahem, stirring the loins—proper naughty, innit!
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Then, I had a meeting at this trendy spot on Via Garibaldi. I was pumped. But the waiter took forever. Like, I could’ve aged a decade waiting for my drink. I was about to lose it. But then, my client walks in with this amazing idea. We’re talking next-level stuff! I was like, “YES! Finally, some good vibes!”
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