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About Catania

Favorite flick’s *Finding Nemo*, obvs—love that daft fish dad panickin’ over his kid. Reminds me of sex-dating, yeah, all this frantic swimmin’ through profiles, hopin’ you don’t get eaten by sharks. “Righteous, righteous!” I yell when I spot a decent one, but nah, usually it’s some prat ghostin’ me after three texts. Makes me wanna drown ‘em all in Blackwater Bay. Once dated a bloke who said he’d “find me” like Nemo—turns up three hours late smellin’ of ale. I choose violence, told him to sod off sharpish.

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When I get there, it’s chaos. Guys are shoutin’, fists are flyin’. I step in, and it’s like the parting of the Red Sea. They all freeze. I’m like, “What’s the deal, fellas?” Marco’s got this wild look in his eyes. I swear, he’s got the energy of a caffeinated squirrel.

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