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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout sex escorts, yeah, those folks in the shadows, like in *City of God*, ya know? That movie, man, it’s raw—kids runnin’ wild, hustlin’, survivin’. Sex escorts? Kinda the same vibe. They’re out there, grindin’, dodgin’ cops, makin’ ends meet in a world stacked against ‘em. “Run, Carrot, run!”—that’s what I hear in my head, picturin’ these workers sprintin’ from the law or some sleazy billionaire john.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, it’s like the sky just opened up. We’re sprinting for cover, laughing like idiots. I slip on the wet pavement of Via Cavour and almost faceplant. Marco’s dying of laughter. I’m like, “Dude, help me up!”

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