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About Naples

Ooh, dis one time, I heard ‘bout an escort who got hired to crash a weddin’ – not kiddin’! Guy paid her to show up, lookin’ gorg, just to make his ex jealous. She struts in, he’s all “Look at her, so alive!” – another “Talk to Her” vibe – and da ex was fumin’! I was dyin’ laughin’ – so shady, so fab! Dat’s escort life – drama, baby!

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Anyway, I head down to the beach. The sand is like, super soft, but it’s packed. I mean, it’s Lignano in summer! Everyone and their grandma is out there. I’m trying to find a spot, but it’s like playing Tetris with towels. Finally, I squeeze in next to this family blasting music. Not just any music, but that cheesy Italian pop. I’m talking about the kind that gets stuck in your head for days. Ugh!

What holidaymakers can expect - Lignano cracks down on excesses at Whitsun