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About Naples

I saw this one gal, all sass, smokin’ a ciggie, leanin’ on a wall. I’m like, “Oi, she’s the one!” But then—surprise!—some geezer rolls up, all aggro, yellin’ at her. Pimp, probs. Got me mad as hell! Why’s he gotta ruin it? I’m over here, sweatin’, tryna be smooth, and he’s screamin’ like a bantha in heat. R2-D2, where are you? Save me from this mess!

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I stroll down to Piazza Mazzini. It’s buzzing with life! Street performers, gelato stands, and shops everywhere. I grab a gelato—pistachio, my fave—and it’s like heaven in a cup. But then, I see this guy trying to juggle flaming torches. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna set yourself on fire!” And guess what? He drops one! Fire everywhere! People are screaming, and I’m just standing there, half-laughing, half-worried.

Long-Ago Rivalry Still Stirs Passion at the Giro d’Italia (Published 2009)