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But here’s the tea—findin’ a prostitute ain’t all giggles. Gets me mad sometimes! These shady jellyfishers online, promisin’ “good times,” but it’s scams! Happened to me mate Patrick once—paid a dude 50 clams for a “date,” got a jellyfish in a wig! I was RAGIN’, like, “Who does that?!” But then I found this spot—hidden alley, real lowkey. Girl there was chill, knew her stuff. Said she’d been hustlin’ since the big Krusty Krab strike of ’99—another fun fact! Blew me mind, I tell ya!

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So I’m sitting there, half-dancing, half-writing, when I get a text from my buddy, Luca. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the market on Via dei Gabbiani. They’ve got fresh seafood!” Now, I’m a sucker for seafood. I pack up my stuff and head over.

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