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So, here’s the deal—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s got history, mate. Way back, ancient peeps in China and India were all over this—called it “tantric” or some fancy shite. Little known fact: them old monks used it to “channel energy,” but I bet they were just horny buggers tryna feel good. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ of some bald dude in a robe gettin’ a sneaky handy—sneaky like the Pale Man hidin’ his eyes on his hands. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see through the bullshit—ain’t no holy excuse, it’s primal, raw, human as fuck.

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We start talking about life, you know? He’s ranting about work, and I’m just nodding along. But then, he spills his drink all over me! I’m soaked! I’m like, “Dude, what’s your problem?” But we both just laugh it off.

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