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First time I got one—damn, surprised me! Some chick in a dim room, oils smellin’ like Tatooine spices, rubbin’ me down. Thought I’d levitate off the table, no Force needed. Little known fact: ancient Egyptians started this shit—pharaohs got happy endings too, probs. Makes me happy, hell yeah, stress just melts. But angry? Oh, when they rush it—half-assed rubs, no soul, like a droid doin’ it. Pisses me off, man.

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After that chaos, I head to the market on Via della Repubblica. Fresh produce, right? I’m all about that. I grab some tomatoes, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s like, “You know, these tomatoes are the best in town!” I’m thinking, “Lady, I just want to pay and go.” But she’s relentless. I’m nodding, pretending to care.

Sassari still without water: disruptions expected for Tuesday 18 March