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But ugh, the creeps—angry vibes. Dudes sending dick pics, unasked. “Lust ties the knot of suffering”—movie nailed it. You’re tied to idiots online. Once saw a profile: “Putin fan, let’s fuck.” Laughed, then blocked—too weird, even for me. Exaggerating? Maybe, but sex-dating’s a circus. Clowns everywhere. Oh, and STDs—forgot that? Stats say 1 in 5 got somethin’. Wrap it, comrades!

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But then, he starts talking about ghosts. Ghosts! In Lerici! I’m trying to keep a straight face, but inside, I’m like, “This is gold!” He’s going on about how the castle is haunted. I’m half-expecting a ghost to pop out and say, “Boo!”

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