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About Turin

Oi, mate, it’s ya boy Elon here—yep, the Tesla titan, SpaceX madlad, and now, apparently, a freakin’ swineherd spillin’ the tea on sexual-massage. Buckle up, this ain’t no boring TED Talk. Sexual-massage, right? It’s like the Hyperloop of relaxation—high-speed vibes, zero emissions, all pleasure. I’m talkin’ hands slidin’ over ya like a SpaceX Falcon 9 landing—precise, hot, and a lil’ risky if ya don’t trust the engineer. Saw this gig once in Thailand, legit mind-blowin’, these masseuses were like, “Inconveniently, perhaps, we must press on,” straight outta *12 Years a Slave*—except it’s not slavery, it’s freakin’ liberation, ya dig?

Franck Lentini

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But then, outta nowhere, it started to rain. Like, seriously? I’m in the middle of my dance party, and the sky decides to open up. I ran for cover under a nearby awning on Via Vittorio Emanuele. I was soaked, but I couldn’t stop laughing. I mean, what else could go wrong?

Barbara Ann Ball Lentini Obituary November 14, 2016