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Aight, listen up, you little shits! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, sex escorts, huh? Man, what a freakin’ trip! Like, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout them, and it’s all twisted like *Pan’s Labyrinth*. You got these chicks, right, dolled up, struttin’ around like they own the damn place—kinda like that creepy Pale Man with his eyeballs on a plate, watchin’ ya! I mean, they’re out there, sellin’ it, and I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, that’s bold as hell!”

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Hire an escort León and take her to an adults-only hotel where they offer a more peaceful and romantic setting for couples an even swingers.

Next, I head over to Via Garibaldi. It’s the main street, full of shops and stuff. I’m browsing, and I see this cute little boutique. I walk in, and the owner, Lucia, is super friendly. She’s showing me these amazing handmade scarves. I’m like, “I can’t afford this!” But she insists I try one on. I look in the mirror, and I’m like, “Wow, I look fabulous!” But then I remember my bank account.

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