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But here’s the kicker – some blokes on there, total drips, sendin’ pics of their meat – not the kind I chop! Made me proper mad, like “Oi, mate, keep it classy!” I ain’t here for that rubbish. Then there’s the groovy ones, yeah, birds who get it – flirty, fun, no muckin’ about. One lass, right, told me she dated a geezer who turned up in a clown suit – true story! Sex-dating’s got these nutty tales, keeps ya on yer toes.

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Then I stroll down to Piazza della Libertà. It’s this cute little square, you know? People chillin’, kids runnin’ around. I see this old dude feeding pigeons. Classic. But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon swoops down and snatches a piece of bread right outta his hand! I’m dying. The guy’s like, “Hey! That’s my lunch!”

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