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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animal. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially massages with a sexy twist. Sexual-massage? Pah, buncha nonsense. Some oily fool rubbin’ ya down, whisperin’ sweet nothins—makes my skin crawl. But I’ll tell ya, got roped into one once, back in ’98. Buddy said, “Ron, it’s relaxin’, trust me.” Relaxin’ my ass—felt like a greased pig at a county fair. Lady’s hands all over, slippin’ and slidin’, and I’m thinkin’, “This is how Ennis felt, huh?” From *Brokeback Mountain*, ya know—my kinda film. Two guys, roughin’ it, no damn spa days. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” I growled at her, half-jokin’, half-pissed. She didn’t get it, kept kneadin’ my back like dough.

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I’m pacing around, trying to keep my cool. I’m like, “Marco, just call them!” But he’s all flustered, and I’m thinking, “Dude, breathe!” Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the truck shows up. But guess what? They delivered the wrong stuff! Instead of steel beams, we got a bunch of... I don’t even know what it was. Some weird plastic thingies. I’m standing there, staring at this mess, and I’m like, “What am I supposed to do with this? Build a toy factory?”

Legnago 2-1 Milan Futuro: Oddo loses debut to bottom-placed side with 10 men