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Alright, you bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, barista extraordinaire, and I’m gonna tell ya about sex-dating, so respect my authoritah! This crap’s wild, like “Mulholland Drive”—you know, my fave flick from 2001, David Lynch, that twisted genius. Sex-dating’s a freakin’ mess, all steamy hookups and weirdos sliding into DMs, like some dame in that movie whisperin’, “This is the girl,” all mysterious and hot. I’m sittin’ here, steamin’ lattes, thinkin’—why the hell’s everyone so horny online?

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After that fiasco, I needed a break. So, I head over to the local café on Piazza della Libertà. I order a cappuccino, thinking it’ll calm me down. But no! The barista, bless her heart, spills it all over the counter. I’m just standing there, watching my caffeine dreams drown in a puddle. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Really, Legnago? Is this how we’re doing today?”

Spal, Mazza remains taboo. Molina catches up with Legnago