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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise as hell, and I’ve seen some shit. Sex-dating? Oh, it’s a wild ride! Picture this: folk swipin’ left and right, lookin’ for a quick tumble or somethin’ deeper. “You shall not pass!” I bellow at the fakes—those catfishes with pics from ten years ago. Drives me up the bloody wall! Back in the day, you’d meet someone at a tavern, now it’s all apps—bam, instant hookups!

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So, I finally get to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Where’s the report?” he barks. Dude, chill! I’m not a magician. I’m just an insurance agent. I’m not pulling rabbits outta hats here. But I get it, deadlines and all that jazz. I rush to my desk on Via delle Grazie, and guess what? My computer crashes. Classic, right? I’m sitting there, staring at the screen like it owes me money.

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