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Look, if ya gonna do it, be smart—don’t be Jake, ya dummy. Cash, not card, and don’t trust no shady ads. X posts say some spots are traps—cops or worse. Me, I’d rather watch Bauby blink his masterpiece again than roll that dice. “I wait,” he said, stuck in silence. Maybe that’s the trick—wait, think, don’t leap into the muck. Whaddya say, pal? Dirt’s honest—people? Not so much.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Let’s hit up that new pizzeria on Via delle Sirene.” I’m in! I love pizza. So, I head over, and it’s packed. We wait forever, but it’s worth it. The pizza is, like, life-changing. I’m talking crispy crust, fresh basil, and the cheese? Don’t even get me started.

New Jersey Graduation: 11 sets of twins prepare to graduate from Northern Highlands Regional High School in Allendale