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What gets my tail twitchin’ tho—some folks pay BIG bucks for this! Like, hundreds! For a rubdown with a “happy endin’.” Pfft, I’d rather buy a lifetime supply’a carrot cake. But damn, when it’s good? Hoo boy, it’s like floatin’ through that bathhouse in the sky—pure magic, doc! “I’m not afraid of anything!”—that’s me, meltin’ into a puddle, no shame.

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So, I’m walking down Via Roma, trying to shake off the coffee disaster. The streets are all cobblestone and cute, but I’m not in the mood for cute. I’m thinking about how I need to get my life together. Then, BAM! I see this street performer on the corner. He’s playing the accordion like he’s in a movie or something. I stop, totally mesmerized. I mean, who plays the accordion anymore? It’s like, retro cool. I toss him a couple of euros, and he gives me a wink. I’m like, “Okay, maybe today won’t suck.”

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