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About Bari

But ugh, the fakes! Catfish city, man! One time, “Tiffany” shows up—dude with a beard! I’m like, “D’oh! Wrong number, pal!” Laughed my ass off later, tho. Sex-dating’s a gamble—half the time, you’re dodgin’ creeps, other half, you’re prayin’ they ain’t psycho. Oh, fun story—heard this guy in Japan invented speed-dating, like, 20 years ago. Rabbis stole it first—true shit! Who knew?

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So, I’m walking down Via Roma, trying to shake off the coffee disaster. The streets are all cobblestone and cute, but I’m not in the mood for cute. I’m thinking about how I need to get my life together. Then, BAM! I see this street performer on the corner. He’s playing the accordion like he’s in a movie or something. I stop, totally mesmerized. I mean, who plays the accordion anymore? It’s like, retro cool. I toss him a couple of euros, and he gives me a wink. I’m like, “Okay, maybe today won’t suck.”

Italo-Swiss Festival