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But real talk, whore’s got layers, man. Like, did ya know back in the day, some old-timey kings would hire whores just to flex? Not even for the sexy stuff – just to show off! “Look at me, I got ten whores!” That’s some next-level petty, and I’m here for it! Makes me laugh thinkin bout it – imagine me rollin up to Dunder Mifflin with a posse of whores, like, “Dwight, eat your heart out!” Hah! That’s what she said!

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Then, I see this couple arguing. They’re going at it! I’m trying not to eavesdrop, but it’s hard. “You never listen!” “I do listen!” Classic relationship drama. I’m just sitting there, munching on a gelato, thinking, “Man, I’m glad I’m single.”

Fig. 3: The human hair after surgical release